You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
