I faked an abortion last night.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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