I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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