My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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