I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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