On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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