He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
