I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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