your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
