I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
