He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude. I can hear the air.
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