do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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