Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
