I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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