Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
