He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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