i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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