walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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