he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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