Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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