Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
