found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
