I wish I only lived at night.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
im holly from the hills drunk
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
