You're completely useless in the revolution.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
