Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
