4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize