he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my being single is dangerous.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
