nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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