Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
