I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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