do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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