Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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