I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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