you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
