Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
