omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
