i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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