no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
