Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
