Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
