dude i'm inner monologue high
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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