I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
