worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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