There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
