Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
