The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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