Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
