Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
