You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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