i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Dignity is for republicans.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
