haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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