Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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