this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
