It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
