a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
