I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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