i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
