What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize