ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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