I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
