i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I smell stomach acid.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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