I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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